Read Lips

"It was the same dream again: she sits up in bed and puts her feet on the floor then her socks on her feet; up-to-the-knees widens each of the stripes until taut they then relax and all, not so much as shrink, but relax firm and settle there, each and every of at least 5 colors; a handful of oranges in my eyes and all I feel is blue as I hear her sing so, tinily crying once like smoke falling along an alluvial drift off her lip: Her; "idontcare idontcare idontcare." She shakes her head, and her whole body makes the smallest sound like the squeak of arctic heartbreak; the room is filled with cracks. It keeps holding together for some reason, but for what it is which but dust: it's not the dynamic supercomputer of a rock holding itself together but ash walls waiting to fall on not much of anything. I was so relieved that I didn't care either."
Gordon Shearer -- Home is Where the Heart breaks


"Years ago in rocky mountains of my youth, a burnt-out rainbow approached me with a clipboard in hand and asked for the definition of love, LOVE. Normally dismissive but with time on my hands, I stopped and thought about it: it's a stupid slippery word; maybe not stupid, but clumsy. Obviously every time you feel it is an expansion of your previous definition by the very nature of all one's felt being exactly that and more all the time. "Love is rolling over and baring your soft to the blade." He thought it was grim; I wasn't talking about romance. It's becoming more rare that I can look in someone's eye's and feel they know that I am, know that they are. Miles beyond that, to look in someone's eyes and know they could reach inside you and pull you out on the floor to die before your own eyes a million times is love. Putting your heart in someone's hands is not a cartoon on a greeting card: blood is involved. "My love is not about people hurting each other: it's about when they don't.""
Gordon Shearer Delirious Trembling


Some phone calls remind me of The Moviegoer by Walker Percy; the eponymous Binx Bolling measures out his life in movies like ticks on a calendar: I don't use it to keep time but more to keep rhythm, to chart progress. It seems every exchange with you is a little push forward. I want to hold your hand: I want you in my ear.


I'm distracted, so it's nose-to-the-grindstone. More soon.


If You Only Knew -- Jurassic 5

Baby It's You -- Smith

I've got Blood in my Eyes For You -- Mississippi Sheiks

Johnny is Dead -- Q-Tip

This is where I belong-- The Kinks